Michael Beder manipulator Santa Fe NM. Michael Beder, Santa Fe, NM. I’m sorry, but this is going to be lengthy. But I’m hoping to save other women from the heartbreak that I am, and have been, going through because of him. Please know that everything I say here can be backed up . I have proof. Brief start up summary: He and I met on Kauai and started seeing each other about 6 years ago. We were great together. Perfect. And for once I felt safe and trusting. He felt like home. Fast forward to March 2021, he tells me he has to leave and go to NM to help his parents, who he was living with on Kauai but that he would be back. He never had any intention of coming back. He’d send me texts saying how heartbroken he was. There’s a couple of them in the photos above. (I now know that he’s a 45 year old boy who will forever live with Mommy and Daddy). I was devastated but we talked almost daily and he was always professing his love. I visited him a couple of times here in Santa Fe. In early 2022 he begs me to move out here with him. My one stipulation was that I was not gonna live with his parents (I mean c’mon! I’m a 45 year old woman!). So I leave everyone I know. I leave KAUAI! And I moved out here under the impression it wouldn’t be with his folks and that I was coming to make a life with the man I love. But I ended up at his folks and the man I met on Kauai and fell in love with was gone. Within one week I found messages on his phone where he had been trying to meet up with other women the night before my plane landed and where he had been sleeping with multiple other women before I got here..

I’ve been here a bit over a year now. He has constantly made excuses as to why he couldn’t spend time with me. It was always because he was working. I have conversations from his phone where those nights that he was “working”, he was having escorts come to his job site or he was meeting them at a hotel he paid for. He was constantly telling me he was broke, therefore he couldn’t do anything with me – only work. Now I know why. Not only escorts but there were several other women that I had to contact to tell them that I existed. They all thought he was exclusive to them. He would tell them I still lived in Hawaii, some he was telling I was a crazy ex, some that I was his sister. And at least one he told that I died in Hawaii before he left. He was overcharging me on my half of the rent, among other things. Refusing to pay me when I would help on jobs. I gave him multiple opportunities to end our relationship. I told him that if he had a sex addiction that I would support him and go to therapy with him and I begged him to let me go if he needed other women in order to be satisfied. Always I was met with beautiful lies, false hope, and mind fucks. I know I should’ve ended it. My mind and heart battle every single day. I left everyone and everything for him. What we once had was amazing. It was beautiful! I found out the magnitude of everything about 3 months ago and I finally moved out. It’s mind blowing….. The never ending lies, the blowing all of his money on casinos and escorts, (there’s so many escorts), the other women, the screwing me out of money and overcharging me. And I know that I don’t know half of it! I know there’s some other woman out there thinking he’s completely in love with her. I’ve become so bitter and angry because he will do kind and tell me how much he loves me and that I’m his forever girl and then I’ll look on his phone and he’s on every single dating app there is and the last girl, who wasn’t an escort, was named Kirsten. I found those messages a couple of weeks ago and since then everything he says, I have a smart ass reply to where I’m basically calling him out on all the bullshit and heartache he’s been putting me through. He’s turned me into a total cunt. I guess he got tired of it. He’s just moved his “bff” into his and his parent’s house with him. All the way from Kauai. He came to my house, had sex with me, got up the next morning and told me he loved me, took a shower and left to go to “work” and then after ignoring me ALL DAY, finally responded via text message about his new live-in girl friend, or “bff” . I know he had a female bff on Kauai. I didn’t know I had a reason to be jealous so I wasn’t. He never gave me her name and always made excuses as to why I couldn’t meet her. And in 2 seconds he throws me away after everything he’s done to me. Why does he think he can mess with someone’s life this way!!? He is, undoubtedly a sociopath. He has a silver tongue.. He’s so charismatic and will make you swoon. And then, he will do things to purposely hurt you (his words).

Tell me, after 6 years together, with the last 2 being strained and the last year with him putting me through hell…..a literal MIND FUCK! Why do I feel devastated? . It’s like my true love was replaced by this monster. I honestly feel like I’m going insane.

UPDATE: It’s been two days since he accidentally left his unlocked phone at my house, unbeknownst to me, and I pretended that I looked in it and he gave me enough information with the way he acted for me to know what I would’ve seen had I really looked. It’s been five months since I originally posted him on this page. 8 months since I found out the magnitude of his betrayal and moved out from his and his parent’s house. One year since I found out without a doubt he’d been cheating and about Kirsten, the woman that he had cheated on me with almost the entire time I’ve been in Santa Fe. 18 months since I suspected he was cheating and started contacting women he was talking to. Almost 21 months since I moved here to be with him.

I know as far as time goes, this is nothing, but I am 24 hours NO CONTACT. I have him blocked on everything. I just need some encouragement through this. I know he’s no good for me. I know he’s a loser, a list, a cheater, a serious POS. Regardless, I feel very vulnerable and I need support. I’m looking into finding a therapist this coming week.